Being Australian
is about driving in a German car
to an Irish pub
for A Belgian beer,
then on the way home, grabbing an Indian curry
or A Turkish kebab,
to sit on Swedish furniture and
watch American shows
on a Japanese TV.
Oh and….
Only in Australia ...
can a pizza get to your house faster
than an ambulance.
Only in Australia ...
do supermarkets make
sick people walk all the way
to the back of the shop
to get their prescriptions
while healthy people
can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Australia ...
do people order double cheeseburgers,
large fries and
a DIET coke.
Only in Australia ...
do banks leave both doors wide open
and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Australia ...
do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars
in the driveway and
lock our junk and cheap lawn mower
in the garage.
NOT TO MENTION….
3 Aussies die each year
testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
58 Aussies are injured each year
by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
31 Aussies have died since 1996
by watering their Christmas tree
while the fairy lights were plugged in.
8 Aussies had serious burns in 2000
trying on a new jumper
with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Aussies
were admitted to Emergency
in the last two years
after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
and finally…......
In 2000 eight Aussies cracked their skull
whilst throwing up into the toilet.
See the map…
ONLY AUSSIES
